Response online dating messages
I think both of these arguments are dismissive and don’t appreciate the complexity of human social interaction.
A quick google of terms like ‘sometimes I forget to reply’, ‘when they don’t text back’ reveal plenty of results and memes about the subject, which suggests that it’s a wide spread experience, and is thus worth theorising about. In online dating, not replying to a first message is the accepted standard that says ‘not interested’.
A technique for ending or toning down friendships is the ‘slow fade’ where one consciously stops initiating conversation, or replying to messages and the relationship naturally winds down.
While I think ghosting might be warranted in some circumstances (eg.
For the person who’s message isn’t being replied to, it can be difficult to decide how to proceed.
I know personally I tend to stop replying to messages when I get depressed, and it’s not because I don’t like the person who’s messaging me.Note: While this post pertains to dating advice and dynamics, it’s also entirely relevant for general social pursuits – eg.Expressing interest in a platonic friendship of someone you admire, or forming a business/professional relationship.I’ve found a common dynamic when it comes to dating and friendship is I’ll invite a friend or a romantic interest to spend some time together, and I’ll either get no response from them at all, or I’ll get a some kind of ‘I can’t this week, but maybe next week? While these two responses are distinctly different, what they have in common is that being on the receiving end it can be unclear what the response means, In this post, while I use online dating as an initial vehicle for discussing the dynamics of no-reply and I’m-busy responses.The more important dynamic I’m really interested in, is these responses from people who you know a bit better.